The Fifth Reiki Principle
Over the last four weeks, we’ve discussed the origin of Dr. Usui’s gokai, his precepts for living in right relationship with the universe, and we took a look at the first gokai, “Just for today, I will not worry,” the second, “Just for today, I will not anger,” the third, “Just for today, I will be filled with humble gratitude,” and the fourth, “Just for today, my true self will be reflected in my work.” Today, we’re going to dedicate ourselves to the fifth gokai:
Just for today, I will be kind and compassionate to every living thing, including myself.
OK, you caught me! The actual translation from the traditional Japanese to English is missing the “including myself” part, but it’s normally discussed in the teachings of this gokai, which is why I translated it in this way for you here.
Let’s break it down! Cue the En Vogue!
Words are so powerful. The true vs. assumed meaning of a word can change an entire communication, which is why we often find ourselves misunderstood or misunderstanding others. To truly understand this gokai it’s imperative that we know what the words “kind” and “compassionate” mean, and the difference between them, because so often they’re used interchangeably--and incorrectly--in our lexicon today. We also need to take a moment to really break down the beneficiaries of this precept: every living thing, and yourself.
Kindness is an outward reflection of compassion.
And that’s precisely why they get confused so often. Kindness is an action that is given to another and can be reciprocated. It’s a behavior, an act that allows us to show love, affection, connection, and warmth by DOING something for someone else. Our motives for being kind to someone may range from wanting to build a connection, to wanting to express sympathy or empathy, to simply wanting to make someone’s day. Kindness provides us with the ability to express our compassion and love in very real ways.
Compassion is an inner or outward reflection of peace.
When we’re at peace with ourselves, we are more able to show ourselves empathy, sympathy, and concern (which often are motives for giving kindness). Compassion is a feeling that we show either to ourselves or to others, and that helps build emotional bonds and promote healing. But compassion is inherently just, so it is not always kind in the most basic sense of kindness. Compassion comes from the peace of knowing that we are worthy of love and kindness, and so is everybody else.
So what does it look like when compassion and kindness go together?
If I watch a friend struggling, would it be kind for me to step in and help them with their struggle to try to prevent their failure? ABSOLUTELY! But the compassionate thing to do would be to give my friend the gift of failure, from which they can learn a valuable lesson about what they are capable of, and then to be there to offer them the kindness of my unconditional love and support as they pick themselves up and try again. That is the truest kindness--the one given in conjunction with compassion. Honestly, I think kindness without compassion is just a hollow gesture. And compassion without an act of kindness to accompany it could be misunderstood or go completely unseen. You’ve really got to do both to reach the goal of this gokai.
But here’s the real kick in the mouth.
You have to be kind and compassionate not just to others, but to yourself! LET ME BE CLEAR: it all starts with YOU. If you can’t learn how worthy you are of love and kindness, you can never learn to be compassionate and gentle with yourself. And if you can’t be compassionate with yourself, then you will never actually be able to be fully compassionate with others, you’ll just be playacting. It’s a farce. A lie. It’s the kindness without all the juicy meat of compassion, and it will always leave you and the person you’re giving kindness to hungry for a deeper connection that simply isn’t there.
And last but not least, a word on responsibility.
The gokai very specifically states “every living thing” because to be kind and compassionate to just yourself is selfish. To be kind and compassionate to just yourself and other people has you living in right relationship with your community, but not with the universe. In order to be in a right relationship with the UNIVERSE, you need to respect and honor every living thing: the planet, the universe, EVERYTHING. This is about our moral obligation to sow peace and love wherever humanly possible.
Now, doesn’t that sound nice?
You can start today, by teaching yourself how to be kind and compassionate to...yourself! Speak kind words to yourself, begin healing yourself, and watch how it transforms your life and the lives of everyone around you. And if you ever need a little help along the way, reach out. I got you.
