Shadow Work

To get to the magical parts of life, you have to move through the darkness first.

Shadow Work is a principle of Jungian Psychology whereby we work with our personal darkness (our “Shadow Self”) to foster self-compassion, authenticity, personal growth, and even enlightenment. Our “Shadow Self” is our dark side: traits we see as undesirable, base, or even evil, which can include racism, greed, misogyny, narcissism, rage, envy, selfishness, hunger for power, you get the idea. Anything that isn’t compatible with how we want to be perceived by others becomes part of our personal shadow. But if we don’t face these completely normal parts of our personality (because if there’s a perfect, shadowless person in existence, PLEASE, name them for me), these traits become repressed, are relegated to our unconscious mind, and eventually rear their ugly heads later on—generally in reactionary displays that hurt those around us and can result in damaging and painful consequences.

It’s perfectly human to not want to see our flaws. 

But until we’re willing to see them, we won’t be able to work on them, and we’re doomed to being controlled by them—or worse, living in denial—for the rest of our lives.  If we’re willing to dive into our shadow, to really look at those unseen flaws and ask ourselves some hard questions, what we find are these universal truths: Nobody is perfect. Everyone has trauma. Our trauma creates our individual shadows. Your trauma was not created BY you, it was done TO you. You cannot control the past, you cannot undo the trauma that has been done to you. But you CAN choose to work through it and move past it. You are not a shitty person, you’re a wounded person. In recognizing the wounding origin of your Shadow Self, you can show yourself compassion. When you can show yourself compassion, you find it much easier to show compassion to others. When you can do both of those things you can heal your wounds and use your Shadow Self to help yourself and others. Someone recently asked me what the easiest way to do shadow work is.

I laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed...because there is no easy way to do shadow work. So instead, I told them that the most practical way to do shadow work is to go to therapy. And I guess it is “easier” in a way, because you don’t have to go through your shadow work alone, your therapist is there to hold space for you as you work. There’s no need to feel uneasy or self conscious about being in therapy. Let’s take the stigma out of therapy and recognize that it’s something to be admired, just like we admire someone for doing their shadow work. 

Because therapy IS shadow work. 

The only people who feel uncomfortable with therapy or who will judge you for being in it are people who’ve never done any form of shadow work before (maybe they believe they have, but trust me, they haven’t). And I don’t know about you, but I’m not going to let someone who hasn’t done their shadow work stand in judgement over me for doing mine and working on myself. It simply doesn’t phase me, and once you start on your path, your resilience will be so strong that it won’t phase you either! 

Don’t know where to find a therapist? Ask your friends who they’re seeing! That’s how I found mine!

Don’t know if you’ll like a certain therapist? That’s OK! Not every therapist is for everyone! Try them out, and see if you get along. If not, move on to the next therapist—who knows, if you tell your current therapist what you’re looking for they might even have a great suggestion for a therapist with whom you’d have better rapport!

I’m not saying that therapy is the ONLY way to do your shadow work, I’m just saying it’s the most practical way I can think of. Find the way that speaks to you!

Do your shadow work, Beloveds, I promise you won’t regret it. And if you need a little energetic push, reach out. I got you.