Divine Femininity
I’d like to start this off with a disclaimer that I personally do not believe in gender.
I believe that gender is a byproduct of our collective societal ego mind that is too small to understand the ways in which we are more similar than we are different, and so we have a compulsive need to categorize everything ad infinitum.
That said, I use the terms “masculine” and “feminine” in my practice a great deal because I see the benefit in using language that, due to our collective programing around gender, has implied meanings that don’t require us to get into creating new language to cover what they already do a great job of indirectly speaking to.
So, let’s dive in!
As Divine beings we’re all a combination of Divine femininity and Divine masculinity, and in order to be our most whole and integrated selves, those parts must be in balance. But so many of us can’t find that balance because we don’t even know what our Divine selves look like or how to embody them. Over the next three posts, I’m going to be addressing just that, starting with Divine Femininity.
Think of your whole self like two coins (one masculine and one feminine), with one side showing the Divine and one side showing the gender-normative, toxic stereotypical tropes that our society assigns to specific genders.
If you flip the coin in the air and it falls to the ground with the toxic side facing up, the Divinity is hidden and can’t be seen.
Like Schrödinger’s cat, if you can’t see it, does it exist? Can it?
But if you flip it over, with the Divine side facing up, it’s the toxicity that can no longer be seen, and therefore no longer exists!
They are two sides of the same coin. They cannot simultaneously exist—except for on the flip of the coin.
This means your Divinity can’t be seen when all you’re exhibiting is toxic behavior.
Our goal is it turn our Divinity outward, allowing it to illuminate everyone…but first it starts with us.
We need to shine that light inward on ourselves before it can grow to shine on everyone else.
So let’s talk about the two sides of femininity: the toxic, and the Divine.
The toxic side of the feminine coin has three main archetypes. These are:
The Caretaker: she’s the free labor. She cooks, she cleans, she takes care of the kids, her man, her friends, and her parents.
She offers love and support to everyone who needs her without consideration for what she might need, or what her energy needs.
She bleeds herself dry for everyone else around her, and she doesn’t complain, because that’s her lot in life. That’s what women do, right?
The Over-Emotional/Crazy: WARNING, SARCASM: this is why we can’t have a woman President, right? Because she’ll start WWIII when she’s on her period… >>insert eye-roll here<<
She’s been trained to see her emotions as dangerous, unworthy, and embarrassing.
She apologizes incessantly for her feelings taking up space, even the good ones!
The Smart-Ass: she’s a know-it-all without whom her male counterpart is helpless (“behind every great man is a greater woman”).
She’s the one who gives great advice to her friends but never takes it herself.
We see this a lot in sitcoms and cleaning commercials. For example, the woman is in the kitchen, drinking a cup of coffee and minding her own business, when suddenly, her husband and young son run in from outside, get mud all over the place, and head back outside without noticing they’ve made an ungodly mess. The wife quickly jumps to the rescue with the help of Mr. Cleaner, and then they high five in a sparkling-like-new-again kitchen as she breaks the fourth wall of the camera and gives the viewer a sardonic look as if to say, “Men! amirite?!”
But when you flip the coin over to its Divine side those toxic tropes go from:
The Caretaker to The Divine Nurturer: When we are our most Divinely nurturing selves, we are able to show up for ourselves in unconditional love and support, and then turn that outward to everyone around us—but we start with ourselves first.
Otherwise we’re just flipping that coin right back to the toxic side and allowing everyone else to take priority over us.
Practical tool for getting into Divine Nurturer energy: whenever you’re in pain, tell yourself that despite your mistakes and flaws, you still love yourself and you are going to hold yourself like a mother holds her child.
The Over-Emotional/Crazy to The Divine Powerful: When we are our most Divinely powerful selves, we are able to feel each emotion without shame, validate ourselves, and stand in the power of that emotion knowing that to feel it means we’re alive.
We don’t apologize for our feelings, but instead recognize and honor them as the teachers that they are, that they show us the places where our hurts are, the places where we can grow to or where we’ve grown from, and that we’re just humans living a human experience.
The Smart-Ass to The Divine Wise: When we are our most Divinely wise selves, we are able to acknowledge the wisdom born from our experiences and know the value of what we have to offer to ourselves and others in the form of that wisdom.
We are full of faith in our own intuition, and rarely gaslight or question ourselves. We aren’t afraid to step into leadership when necessary, or take a back seat when the moment calls for it, because we see how and where we can contribute and separate it from our own egos.
When we can nurture ourselves in unconditional self-love, we are Divine. When we can feel our feelings powerfully, with no shame, no gaslighting and no apologies, we are Divine. When we can admire our own wisdom and use it to guide us and even others through difficult times, we are Divine.
Regardless of your gender or non-gender, these traits are key to finding your Divine balance, your Yin and Yang.
